On the Eve of Four

Four years ago today we got the news that you would be gracing us with your presence the following day. That night I had my first ever panic attack. I felt my chest tighten. My airways constricted and I began hyperventilating. I knew that in less than 24 hours life as we knew it would never ever be the same. In those few minutes that I was sure I was going to die and Steven had the phone in his hand ready to call 911, a million things went through my head. From the absurd like, "what if the doctors are wrong and you turn out to be a boy?" To the more profound, "will me we make good parents?" The questions and the unknown were a lot to bare.

The next morning came. And at 12:05 pm you came screaming into the world. In some ways you haven't stopped since that minute! And life as we know it did change. From 12:05 pm on March 16, 2006, it was as though someone finally pushed our "go" button. Apparently, that "go" button doesn't come with a companion "stop" button.

We can't imagine you stopping. Just yesterday we were laughing with Grammy and PapPap about how we couldn't really wrap our heads around a time when you didn't talk. Seems as though you've always been voicing your opinion on everything.

You are so many things to us. Our princess who longs to live in a castle and marry a prince. Our tough cookie who can walk around with a broken arm for a week. Our little girl who likes nothing more than crawling into our bed a 2am and family movie nights. Our adventurous one who can dive off diving boards and climb rock walls. Our opinionated one who says she's rather die than eat a fish eyeball or go to church. And our only one who can act spoiled and bossy.

You are so many things at once. And tomorrow you will be four. For four years we have watched you grow and turn into a little kid. No longer a baby but a beautiful strong willed little girl. I will never worry about you getting lost in the shuffle of this world. You will always make yourself heard and I know that you will always come up swinging (and probably shouting obscenities). You have your daddy's loyalty. My devil-may-care attitude. And you are your own biggest fan.

You are going to be just fine in life. So happy birthday my sweet princess. And I've got news for you. Your prince has been here the whole time :)