Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Gone Too Soon

It's true that you never know just what exactly a child is going to do. I cringe every time she goes over to someone's house. I'm afraid of what she's going to let fly out of her mouth. Stella left us on Friday. Sooner than what I had imagined but it was time. Actually, the ending was easier than all of the grief and sorrow we had faced over the last 9 months. I had heard that when the time came it would be easier. Over the past nine months though, anytime we thought about the end, we thought about Little Bit. Over and over again I would say, "this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for Sophie." How many times I said, "how am I going to tell Sophie that yet again, something she loves is gone." I was ready to put her on a plane and send her to Disney World when the time came. Whatever it took, for her not to feel the pain of loss.

And in the end, she kissed Stella on the head that morning, looked her in the eyes and said in that 4 year old voice of hers, the one that can't pronounce her "r's" or her 'th's" very well, and said, "Stella, it's gonna be ok, you are going to get to go to Heaven and play with Oscar, and I'll see you again one day."

And it was ok. And it has been ok. And it will be ok. She misses her, yes. But I've overhead her tell neighbors and family about what happened to her Stella and it's almost with joy in her voice.

Kids are tough. I forget that. All of us forget that. We shelter our kids way too much and turn them into big giant puss-pots and wimps. We think that they can't handle rejection or sadness. Why is that? I was a tough kid. I turned out all right, in my humble opinion. In the beginning I had considered lying to Little Bit about Stella. I'm so glad that I didn't. I want her to to know that life isn't always rainbows and sunshine. Oh how I wish that she hadn't had to loose two pets within a year of each other. But she did. Nothing can change that. She is a tough kid. And when she let a balloon go up in the air in remembrance of her puppy who was with her for too short of an amount of time, it was with a smile on her face and not tears in her eyes. Maybe we can all learn something from a four year old.


Anonymous said...

Amazing. I was in tears just reading your post. Such a brave little girl you have.

Jonathan's Mommy said...

I WISH things were all sunshine and rainbows but since that's not the case, I agree that we can't shelter our kids too much. How I wish, though, that Jonathan would never have to experience any pain!

Sophie is such an awesome little girl!!