Sunday, January 25, 2009

An Open Letter to the People Buying Our House

**Disclaimer: Those easily offended, read no further.

Dear Retarded, Insufficient, Morons, who I wouldn't urinate on if you were on fire: 

Go eff yourselves. 

With Warmest Regards

The Carrs

Wow, I feel so much better.   I would say that all of this house stuff is winding up but alas it is not. The turds who are buying our house KEEP asking for stuff. As of late, it was an extra $75 home warranty. Truthfully, I'd rather take a match to $75 and watch it burn but at this point we want all of this behind us. So I'll sign the closing papers with a smile on my face but  I can guarantee you that I will be calling upon the powers of God, Allah, Buddah, and L. Ron Hubbard, to strike vengeance, locusts, and wrath upon these people. 

In the meantime, when I'm not wishing plagues and meteorites to land on this house once we move out, I've been playing with Little Bit. Friday it was warm enough to go out side so we broke out the scooter. I have a feeling by this summer she'll be zipping around like a pro. 

Oh and she's picked up another nice little word from her daddy. Yesterday, after Papa was finished exercising she told him to "go change your FREAKIN' shirt." Isn't that some eloquent language? Sometimes I'm glad that we never make it to church. I could see her saying to her Sunday School teacher "lets sing that freaking song Jesus Loves Me."


Lara said...

Sorry about the eff'ing morons, but this, too, shall pass. LOVE that last picture of Sophie. So cute!

Paula said...

funny lyda screamed DAMN IT durng the closing hymn in church this morning..oh yeah. it was great.
sorry about the house.

Susie PSU said...

Ugh. Now I'm REALLY not looking forward to trying to sell this house. Sorry they are being a pain in the a. about it!

Jenny said...

Be careful being too mean about the idiots buying your house- that karma bus is a b***h!
Sophie will have a great time zipping around the new hood this summer on her scooter- she'll have a great hill to zip down!!

Anonymous said...

Sophie looks so grown up in the scooter pictures. By the way -- I would call on L. Ron Hubbard to bring the wrath of aliens and Tom Cruise to your house buyers!

Hope all improves:)

Carrie S.

The Kiser's said...

Oh that post made me laugh. You sure have a way with words. Hope all the drama ends soon!

Jonathan's Mommy said...

That really stinks! I dread the time when Bryan and I are in the same boat. Hopefully this will be the end of it and you can move on to your rockin' new house!

Love the Sophie B. pictures! Our scooter has only been used inside so far but I can't wait to see him tear it up when the weather is better!

wvapoker said...

Just go buy a potato (the kind to bake) and put it in a A/C vent. Maybe in the master bedroom.

As it rots in 6-8 weeks it will put off a foul odor every time the heat kicks on.

They can use the home warranty to fix that.